Whether one’s academic supervisor is a White man or woman, or a person of color, the ability to say “no” to our supervisors is critical for one’s professional success and personal well-being. Some of us are incessantly asked to take on extra service, extra duties, to relieve someone else because they have “more important things” to do, and “just to do it” because it must be done and because we have that extra strength in our DNA, some seem to think.
Many years ago I was approached by an academic supervisor to chat about all the extra duties my supervisor wanted me to take on. Weeks before I had excitedly heard from a male colleague about my colleague’s promotion to the management or administrative ranks. Now, my supervisor wanted me to do the work under my colleague’s new job description, but without the (or any) title, without formal authority, and, definitely, without any increased pay. My supervisor just wanted the work done and thought I should do so, informally.
I decided to respond with an email. The email I started to type was a quite angry email (yes, I would have been labeled the angry Black woman) that would have been loaded with typos, and would have been the antonym of professional and elegant!
Then before I pressed send, it occurred to me to “call a friend.” I called my sister, a top administrator and academic, who talked me down (it took hours!) and coached me to craft an appropriate “no.” I keep that email model to help me continually with all the “no” replies I have to give in order to be able to be a diligent and prepared teacher, a reliable and engaged community servant, and an excellent scholar. My sister taught me how to elegantly and professionally say no in an email in three easy paragraphs.
Paragraph one: give respect to the request and the importance of the work. This is almost always the case, as almost any academic project holds great promise and is sorely needed in our schools and larger society.
Paragraph two: acknowledge that you understand why they asked “you” (because you are so diligent, because of your past great service/teaching/scholarship in the area, etc.).
Paragraph three: decline definitively and politely.
